Friday, November 28, 2008

The Shopocalypse

I've always wondered what Jesus would buy if he ever went shopping on Black Friday:




What Would Jesus Buy?

When Tyler Durden met his fate at the end of Fight Club's loaded gun back in 1999, I never thought anyone would have the audacity to resurrect him. Wrong. As it turns out, Tyler's anti-consumerism message has once again returned to the celluloid world in the form of an evangelical preacher named Reverend Billy, who is determined to convince America to stop shopping in the latest documentary produced by Morgan Spurlock, What Would Jesus Buy?.

CHANGEOVER.
THE MOVIE GOES ON.
NO ONE HAS ANY IDEA.

In 2004, director Rob Vanalkemade and his camera crew started following Reverend Billy and his Church of Stop Shopping across the country on their mission to save Christmas from the "Shopocalypse." Joining Billy on his 6 week tour from New York to Los Angeles in a couple of bio-diesel buses is his gospel choir, the Not Buying It Band, helping him warn the American people about the evils of their prodigal shopping ways.

ADVERTISING HAS US WORKING JOBS WE HATE SO WE CAN BUY SHIT WE DON'T NEED.

Who is Reverend Billy? The good Reverend (AKA Bill Turen), was just another New Yorker disgusted at how the retail industry had turned his neighborhood into a mall. But, instead of sitting idly by and watching the "Disneyfication" of New York City, Billy decided to take matters into his own hands by dying his hair blonde, finding a clergy collar to match his catering jacket, and preaching to the masses. What's his mission? To save us from the false idols and ridiculous consumerism ideals we've mistaken for the Christmas spirit.

WE ARE CONSUMERS.
WE ARE BY-PRODUCTS OF A LIFESTYLE OBSESSION.
MURDER, CRIME, POVERTY, THESE THINGS DON'T CONCERN US.
WHAT CONCERNS US ARE CELEBRITY MAGAZINES, TELEVISION WITH 500 CHANNELS, AND SOME GUY'S NAME ON OUR UNDERWEAR.

Reverend Billy's message is one we've all heard before. It's just a message we choose not to heed, and the retail industry doesn't want us to hear - especially at Christmas time. He just delivers it in a way that's entertaining as well as educational. But, maybe that's what we need. Maybe it's going to take an over-the-top preacher and a gospel choir from the Church of Stop Shopping to make us realize we've been reading the scripture and missing the message.

IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT,
YOU END UP WITH A LOT YOU DON'T.

Of course, his message for everyone to stop shopping has irritated a couple of noteable retail chains. In 2003, Reverend Billy became the only reverend to have a court order preventing him from entering any Starbucks in the state of California. Two years later, he was banned from every Disney property in the world. But, then again, that's what happens when you shout "Mickey Mouse is the anti-Christ" in the middle of a Disney store.

WE ARE THE ALL-SINGING, ALL-DANCING CRAP OF THE WORLD.

Obviously, evangelical preaching can be rather disruptive at times, but Vanalkemade doesn't leave Billy's message buried in the comical antics of a soapbox preacher. In between Reverend Billy's assorted spectacles of shopping confessionals, arrests, and car accidents, Vanalkemade addresses the other important issues that play into our skewered sense of ideals. Long before the end of the film, Reverend Billy will make you realize that shopping malls may be the biggest symbol of everything that's gone wrong with Christmas, but they're only part of the problem.

YOU'RE NOT YOUR JOB.
YOU'RE NOT HOW MUCH MONEY YOU HAVE IN THE BANK.
YOU'RE NOT THE CAR YOU DRIVE.
YOU'RE NOT THE CONTENTS OF YOUR WALLET.
YOU'RE NOT YOUR FUCKING KHAKIS.


Why is it that in some countries, it's illegal to advertise to children under the age of 12; yet, in the US, we spend $15 billion marketing to children alone? Stop and think about it. Advertisers' main target demographics are children under the age of 8 who can't tell the difference between advertising and entertainment. Personally, I don't see how merely limiting the number of commercials during children's television programs does anything to effectively curb advertisers. They've just resorted to the same type of product placement schemes they use in regular adult programming.

THAT OLD SAYING, "YOU ALWAYS HURT THE ONE YOU LOVE."
WELL, IT WORKS BOTH WAYS.


Since American children today absorb 40 hours of media exposure and less than 40 minutes engaged in meaningful conversations with their parents every week, it's no mystery as to why we've become a nation of consumers. But, even more disturbing than the lack of communication between parent and child is the message that's actually being sent. If parents keep justifying their outrageous spending behaviors under the pesudo-Christmas philosophy of "I don't care if I go broke. It's for the kids," how can we expect our kids to grow up to be financially responsible adults? We can't. It's almost as bad as that commercial I saw on the Disney channel last week for a new Monopoly board game that has 5 year-old players swiping fake credit cards. How fucked up is that?

WE USED TO SIT IN THE BATHROOM WITH PORNOGRAPHY.
NOW WE SIT IN THE BATHROOM WITH IKEA CATALOGUES.


Reverend Billy's message goes even further than financial responsibility and tackles the globalization of our consumer economy. By exorcising the demons out of Wal-Mart, holding a funeral for small town America, and marching through Disneyland with a bullhorn, Reverend Billy shows us how the driving forces behind consumerism have become an ugly symbol of today's Main Street USA – empty, shuttered, and outsourced. Corporations and advertisers have turned EVERYTHNG into a commodity, even Christ himself.

A HOUSE FULL OF CONDIMENTS AND NO REAL FOOD.
HOW EMBARRASSING.


It shouldn't take a psychologist or an evangelical preacher to tell us that we as a society are addicted to shopping, that buying is NOT acquainted with love, or that happiness is NOT just the next purchase away. So, how do we fight the evils of consumerism? Maybe Reverend Billy is right. Maybe we just need to buy half as much and give twice as much - real gifts like time & love, not the latest gaming system. Corporations stole Christmas from us. Isn't it time we take it back?

THE THINGS YOU USED TO OWN, NOW OWN YOU.
I KNOW THIS BECAUSE TYLER KNOWS THIS.


© Left From Hollywood 12/7/2007

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